Stephen Curry (Warriors): Well, it certainly was a great season for everyone.
Chris Paul (Clippers): Yeah, looking back on it, it really wasn’t all that bad.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): No, Chris. What I meant to say was: “it certainly was a great season for everyone…”
Stephen Curry (Warriors): ...unless you count EVERYBODY EXCEPT FOR ME! HAHAHAHA!
Chris Paul (Clippers): You’re saying I didn’t have a great season?
Deron Williams (Nets): You know, back in my day, a “great season” was…
Chris Paul (Clippers): NOBODY CARES, GRANDPA!
Deron Williams (Nets): You kids don’t know how to act these days!
Chris Paul (Clippers): Anyways, as I was saying, I had SUCH a great season!
Chris Paul (Clippers): I led the league in assists for the second year in a row!
Chris Paul (Clippers): I was coming off four straight seasons where I led the league in steals!
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Yeah, wonder what happened to THAT streak…
Chris Paul (Clippers): SHUT UP. I led my team to the second round of the playoffs!
Stephen Curry (Warriors):
Chris Paul (Clippers): Yeah, looking back on it, it really wasn’t all that bad.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): No, Chris. What I meant to say was: “it certainly was a great season for everyone…”
Stephen Curry (Warriors): ...unless you count EVERYBODY EXCEPT FOR ME! HAHAHAHA!
Chris Paul (Clippers): You’re saying I didn’t have a great season?
Deron Williams (Nets): You know, back in my day, a “great season” was…
Chris Paul (Clippers): NOBODY CARES, GRANDPA!
Deron Williams (Nets): You kids don’t know how to act these days!
Chris Paul (Clippers): Anyways, as I was saying, I had SUCH a great season!
Chris Paul (Clippers): I led the league in assists for the second year in a row!
Chris Paul (Clippers): I was coming off four straight seasons where I led the league in steals!
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Yeah, wonder what happened to THAT streak…
Chris Paul (Clippers): SHUT UP. I led my team to the second round of the playoffs!
Stephen Curry (Warriors):
Patrick Beverley (Rockets): To answer your question, Mr. Curry: no, Mr. Paul did not win. He was unable to win the series against our team after being up 3-1. I still hold high respect for Mr. Paul, however, as it was an honor to compete against a player of his caliber.
Chris Paul (Clippers): I officially hate everyone.
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): DID SOMEONE SAY LEADING THE LEAGUE IN TRIPLE DOUBLES?!
Chris Paul (Clippers): No, nobody said that.
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): WELL THAT’S ODD. Because I lead all point guards in triple doubles!
Chris Paul (Clippers): And I lead all point guards in not giving a crap.
Tony Parker (Spurs): And I lead all point guards in rings.
Chris Paul (Clippers): SHUT UP. I don’t need to take crap from all you Spurs players anyways. We beat you guys!
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): You mean in rings?
Chris Paul (Clippers): No, you idiot! I mean in the playoffs!
Tony Parker (Spurs): Oh, that’s weird. I also thought you meant in rings.
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Yeah that would’ve been odd. Because, you know, like…
Tony Parker (Spurs): We have 5 rings and the Clippers have 0?
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Exactly.
Chris Paul (Clippers): SHUT UP.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Back to the important people here…
Stephen Curry (Warriors): And by “people” I mean “me”.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): And by “me” I mean “THE ONLY OTHER POINT GUARD BESIDES MAGIC JOHNSON TO WIN MVP AND THE TITLE IN THE SAME YEAR!” WOOHOO!
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): I can’t believe I still have to listen to this.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): LOL.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): You know, I had a pretty decent season myself. I was second to only LeBron in scoring in the East! I played very well until I got hurt!
Stephen Curry (Warriors):
Chris Paul (Clippers): I officially hate everyone.
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): DID SOMEONE SAY LEADING THE LEAGUE IN TRIPLE DOUBLES?!
Chris Paul (Clippers): No, nobody said that.
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): WELL THAT’S ODD. Because I lead all point guards in triple doubles!
Chris Paul (Clippers): And I lead all point guards in not giving a crap.
Tony Parker (Spurs): And I lead all point guards in rings.
Chris Paul (Clippers): SHUT UP. I don’t need to take crap from all you Spurs players anyways. We beat you guys!
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): You mean in rings?
Chris Paul (Clippers): No, you idiot! I mean in the playoffs!
Tony Parker (Spurs): Oh, that’s weird. I also thought you meant in rings.
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Yeah that would’ve been odd. Because, you know, like…
Tony Parker (Spurs): We have 5 rings and the Clippers have 0?
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Exactly.
Chris Paul (Clippers): SHUT UP.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Back to the important people here…
Stephen Curry (Warriors): And by “people” I mean “me”.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): And by “me” I mean “THE ONLY OTHER POINT GUARD BESIDES MAGIC JOHNSON TO WIN MVP AND THE TITLE IN THE SAME YEAR!” WOOHOO!
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): I can’t believe I still have to listen to this.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): LOL.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): You know, I had a pretty decent season myself. I was second to only LeBron in scoring in the East! I played very well until I got hurt!
Stephen Curry (Warriors):
John Wall (Wizards): LOL.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): What’re you laughing at, Wall? Looked at your team’s record again?
John Wall (Wizards): No, looked at your team’s championship trophy case.
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): Ha! Yeah championships matter so much.
Isaiah Thomas (Celtics): I know, right?
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): Shut up, Thomas. The Lakers’ history is better than the Celtics’.
Isaiah Thomas (Celtics): I knew you were stupid, but have you really not figured out that 17 > 16?
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): You won those in the ‘60s! They don’t even count!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Guys, guys, settle down.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Let’s just agree that BOTH of your teams are trash right now.
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): DID SOMEONE SAY LEADING THE LEAGUE IN TRIPLE DOUBLES?!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): What?
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): WELL THAT’S ODD. Because I also lead the league in points per game!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): You’re not very good at bragging, are you?
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): KD was also injured the whole time!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Anyways...
Derrick Rose (Bulls): OUR team won our rings in the 90s. That’s more recent, and therefore more impressive than the Lakers or the Celtics.
Tony Parker (Spurs): What about a team that won their rings in the 2000s?
Derrick Rose (Bulls): SHUT UP.
Goran Dragic (Heat): But vut about zee team zat has vun zer reengs in zee 2010s?
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): You weren’t even on those Miami teams, Mr. Lisp. **I** am one of the only ones here that has won a ring recently! ‘08, baby!
Jrue Holiday (Pelicans): Would “08” be the year you won the title, or how many points you score?
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Like you Peli-tards should be talking any smack. Holiday, you better watch your mouth or I’ll take your job next seasons in New Orleans.
Mike Conley (Grizzlies): Oh yeah, speaking of which, where are you thinking of signing, Rondo?
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Got it all worked out with the Lakers. Just agreed. Gonna make it official soon. LA here we come, baby!
Goran Dragic (Heat): Oh no, I took care of zees.
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): What?
Goran Dragic (Heat): Yes. You angered zee Dragon vis zee “Meesta Leesp” joke, so I seek revenge of zee.
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Revenge?!
Goran Dragic (Heat): I told zee Lakers zat zee Dragon vill sign vith zee Lakers, so zee Lakers now are ready to pay me to be zer point guard of zee future.
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Damn! YOU’RE signing with the Lakers! And they’re choosing you over me? I thought they already HAD their point guard of the future
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): Uhh, yeah. They did. And they DO, as well.
Goran Dragic (Heat): No, Dragon not signing vith zee Lakers. Dragon just ruining Rondo’s plans.
Mike Conley (Grizzlies): LOL. Dragic sabotaged Rondo signing with the Lakers!
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Damnit! Guess I’ll just have to sign with the Kings or something now.
Darren Collison (Kings): No, Rondo. This is MY point guard job.
Ty Lawson (Nuggets): Oh please, Darren COLLISION. Everyone knows that job is as good as mine once I get traded.
Eric Bledsoe (Suns): Hey!
Brandon Knight (Suns): You guys can be a point guard duo!
Eric Bledsoe (Suns): Yeah! Just like us!
Brandon Knight (Suns): Yeah!
Eric Bledsoe (Suns): Yeah!
Brandon Knight (Suns): Yeah!
Darren Collison (Kings): NO!
Goran Dragic (Heat): Zees eez vie I left zee Pheeneex Soons.
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): DID SOMEONE SAY LEADING THE LEAGUE IN TRIPLE DOUBLES?!
Kyle Lowry (Raptors): Well, there were several of us that took the next big step this year. Superstardom, here we come!
Damian Lillard (Blazers): Damn right! I’m going to be GREAT.
John Wall (Wizards): I’m with you guys!
Jeff Teague (Hawks): Yeah! We’re going to be superstars!
Stephen Curry (Warriors): YOU guys? Superstars? Don’t make me laugh.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Actually, you already did. LOLOLOLOLOL!
Chris Paul (Clippers): HAHAHA!
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): HEHEHEHE!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): LMAOLMAOLMAO!
Stephen Curry (Warriors): What’re YOU laughing at, Irving?
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Yeah! What’re YOU laughing at, Irving?
Chris Paul (Clippers): And what’re YOU laughing at, Rose?
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Yeah! What’re YOU laughing at, Rose?
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Ugh. Can’t stand these losers, Chris.
Chris Paul (Clippers): TELL ME ABOUT IT. Don’t you just hate non-elites?
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Wouldn’t say “hate”, but I never really liked you anyways, Chris.
Chris Paul (Clippers): SHUT UP.
Elfrid Payton (Magic): WHAT UP?!
Elfrid Payton (Magic): CAN THE BEST ROOKIE PG GET A WORLD IN HERE REAL QUICK?!
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): Why is it that everyone here never ceases to annoy me?
Elfrid Payton (Magic): Gimme a break, Clarkson. You won’t even be a starter come next year. UNLIKE THE GREAT ELFRID PAYTON!
Michael Carter-Williams (Bucks): You think you’re hot stuff now, rookie, but you just wait. Trust me, I was the one blowing them away last year.
Reggie Jackson (Pistons): Now you just blow.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): LOL.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Well, Rose?
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Well what, Irving?
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Just let me have it already.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): What’re you talking about?
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): You know, because like, I made fun of you for us advancing to the Finals against you guys and for you being injured all the time. But then my team lost in the finals because **I** was injured. So just make fun of me already.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Oh no, I’m not going to make fun of you for that. I wouldn’t even say that what you said was true.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Really?
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Yeah. You guys didn’t lose because you were injured.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Gee, thanks Rose.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Rather, you being injured is the only thing that even gave your team a chance. It allowed a better point guard to step up.
Matthew Dellevadova (Cavaliers): Hey, that’s me!
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): I HATE YOU, ROSE-THORN.
Jeff Teague (Hawks): Ladies, ladies, settle down. There’s no use in arguing over who is the second best team in the East.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Perfect. Then you don’t need to argue with Rose on that one, if you really think that there’s no use in arguing about it. You can be the fourth best team. Now leave.
Jeff Teague (Hawks): Real funny, Irving. Remind me againwhat your regular season record was?
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Remind me again who smoked who in the playoffs?
Jeff Teague (Hawks): Kyrie, the only thing that’s “smoking” were LeBron’s jerseys in 2010 when Cavs fans burned them!
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): WE STILL BEAT YOU, JEFF FA-TEAGUE!!
Jeff Teague (Hawks): We’ll get you next year!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Yeah, and so will we.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): WE BEAT YOU TOO, ROSE-THORN!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Kiss my MVP and our team’s 6 titles, Injur-Ving!
Stephen Curry (Warriors): DID SOMEBODY SAY MVPs AND TITLES?
Stephen Curry (Warriors): ‘CUZ YA KNOW WHO'S GOT THE HARDWARE HERE?!
Tony Parker (Spurs): Me.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): No, you idiot. I meant Finals and MVPs!
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Wait, you mean Finals MVPs?
Stephen Curry (Warriors): No! REGULAR SEASON MVP awards, and the most recent championships!
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Thought you meant Finals MVPs.
Tony Parker (Spurs): Oh, that’s weird. I also thought you meant Finals MVPs.
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Yeah, that would’ve been odd. Because, you know, like…
Tony Parker (Spurs): We each have a Finals MVP award and Curry doesn’t?
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Exactly.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): SHUT UP!
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): DID SOMEONE SAY LEADING THE LEAGUE IN TRIPLE DOUBLES?!
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Hey Westbrook:
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): What’re you laughing at, Wall? Looked at your team’s record again?
John Wall (Wizards): No, looked at your team’s championship trophy case.
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): Ha! Yeah championships matter so much.
Isaiah Thomas (Celtics): I know, right?
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): Shut up, Thomas. The Lakers’ history is better than the Celtics’.
Isaiah Thomas (Celtics): I knew you were stupid, but have you really not figured out that 17 > 16?
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): You won those in the ‘60s! They don’t even count!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Guys, guys, settle down.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Let’s just agree that BOTH of your teams are trash right now.
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): DID SOMEONE SAY LEADING THE LEAGUE IN TRIPLE DOUBLES?!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): What?
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): WELL THAT’S ODD. Because I also lead the league in points per game!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): You’re not very good at bragging, are you?
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): KD was also injured the whole time!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Anyways...
Derrick Rose (Bulls): OUR team won our rings in the 90s. That’s more recent, and therefore more impressive than the Lakers or the Celtics.
Tony Parker (Spurs): What about a team that won their rings in the 2000s?
Derrick Rose (Bulls): SHUT UP.
Goran Dragic (Heat): But vut about zee team zat has vun zer reengs in zee 2010s?
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): You weren’t even on those Miami teams, Mr. Lisp. **I** am one of the only ones here that has won a ring recently! ‘08, baby!
Jrue Holiday (Pelicans): Would “08” be the year you won the title, or how many points you score?
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Like you Peli-tards should be talking any smack. Holiday, you better watch your mouth or I’ll take your job next seasons in New Orleans.
Mike Conley (Grizzlies): Oh yeah, speaking of which, where are you thinking of signing, Rondo?
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Got it all worked out with the Lakers. Just agreed. Gonna make it official soon. LA here we come, baby!
Goran Dragic (Heat): Oh no, I took care of zees.
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): What?
Goran Dragic (Heat): Yes. You angered zee Dragon vis zee “Meesta Leesp” joke, so I seek revenge of zee.
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Revenge?!
Goran Dragic (Heat): I told zee Lakers zat zee Dragon vill sign vith zee Lakers, so zee Lakers now are ready to pay me to be zer point guard of zee future.
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Damn! YOU’RE signing with the Lakers! And they’re choosing you over me? I thought they already HAD their point guard of the future
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): Uhh, yeah. They did. And they DO, as well.
Goran Dragic (Heat): No, Dragon not signing vith zee Lakers. Dragon just ruining Rondo’s plans.
Mike Conley (Grizzlies): LOL. Dragic sabotaged Rondo signing with the Lakers!
Rajon Rondo (Mavericks): Damnit! Guess I’ll just have to sign with the Kings or something now.
Darren Collison (Kings): No, Rondo. This is MY point guard job.
Ty Lawson (Nuggets): Oh please, Darren COLLISION. Everyone knows that job is as good as mine once I get traded.
Eric Bledsoe (Suns): Hey!
Brandon Knight (Suns): You guys can be a point guard duo!
Eric Bledsoe (Suns): Yeah! Just like us!
Brandon Knight (Suns): Yeah!
Eric Bledsoe (Suns): Yeah!
Brandon Knight (Suns): Yeah!
Darren Collison (Kings): NO!
Goran Dragic (Heat): Zees eez vie I left zee Pheeneex Soons.
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): DID SOMEONE SAY LEADING THE LEAGUE IN TRIPLE DOUBLES?!
Kyle Lowry (Raptors): Well, there were several of us that took the next big step this year. Superstardom, here we come!
Damian Lillard (Blazers): Damn right! I’m going to be GREAT.
John Wall (Wizards): I’m with you guys!
Jeff Teague (Hawks): Yeah! We’re going to be superstars!
Stephen Curry (Warriors): YOU guys? Superstars? Don’t make me laugh.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Actually, you already did. LOLOLOLOLOL!
Chris Paul (Clippers): HAHAHA!
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): HEHEHEHE!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): LMAOLMAOLMAO!
Stephen Curry (Warriors): What’re YOU laughing at, Irving?
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Yeah! What’re YOU laughing at, Irving?
Chris Paul (Clippers): And what’re YOU laughing at, Rose?
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Yeah! What’re YOU laughing at, Rose?
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Ugh. Can’t stand these losers, Chris.
Chris Paul (Clippers): TELL ME ABOUT IT. Don’t you just hate non-elites?
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Wouldn’t say “hate”, but I never really liked you anyways, Chris.
Chris Paul (Clippers): SHUT UP.
Elfrid Payton (Magic): WHAT UP?!
Elfrid Payton (Magic): CAN THE BEST ROOKIE PG GET A WORLD IN HERE REAL QUICK?!
Jordan Clarkson (Lakers): Why is it that everyone here never ceases to annoy me?
Elfrid Payton (Magic): Gimme a break, Clarkson. You won’t even be a starter come next year. UNLIKE THE GREAT ELFRID PAYTON!
Michael Carter-Williams (Bucks): You think you’re hot stuff now, rookie, but you just wait. Trust me, I was the one blowing them away last year.
Reggie Jackson (Pistons): Now you just blow.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): LOL.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Well, Rose?
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Well what, Irving?
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Just let me have it already.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): What’re you talking about?
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): You know, because like, I made fun of you for us advancing to the Finals against you guys and for you being injured all the time. But then my team lost in the finals because **I** was injured. So just make fun of me already.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Oh no, I’m not going to make fun of you for that. I wouldn’t even say that what you said was true.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Really?
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Yeah. You guys didn’t lose because you were injured.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Gee, thanks Rose.
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Rather, you being injured is the only thing that even gave your team a chance. It allowed a better point guard to step up.
Matthew Dellevadova (Cavaliers): Hey, that’s me!
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): I HATE YOU, ROSE-THORN.
Jeff Teague (Hawks): Ladies, ladies, settle down. There’s no use in arguing over who is the second best team in the East.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Perfect. Then you don’t need to argue with Rose on that one, if you really think that there’s no use in arguing about it. You can be the fourth best team. Now leave.
Jeff Teague (Hawks): Real funny, Irving. Remind me againwhat your regular season record was?
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): Remind me again who smoked who in the playoffs?
Jeff Teague (Hawks): Kyrie, the only thing that’s “smoking” were LeBron’s jerseys in 2010 when Cavs fans burned them!
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): WE STILL BEAT YOU, JEFF FA-TEAGUE!!
Jeff Teague (Hawks): We’ll get you next year!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Yeah, and so will we.
Kyrie Irving (Cavaliers): WE BEAT YOU TOO, ROSE-THORN!
Derrick Rose (Bulls): Kiss my MVP and our team’s 6 titles, Injur-Ving!
Stephen Curry (Warriors): DID SOMEBODY SAY MVPs AND TITLES?
Stephen Curry (Warriors): ‘CUZ YA KNOW WHO'S GOT THE HARDWARE HERE?!
Tony Parker (Spurs): Me.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): No, you idiot. I meant Finals and MVPs!
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Wait, you mean Finals MVPs?
Stephen Curry (Warriors): No! REGULAR SEASON MVP awards, and the most recent championships!
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Thought you meant Finals MVPs.
Tony Parker (Spurs): Oh, that’s weird. I also thought you meant Finals MVPs.
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Yeah, that would’ve been odd. Because, you know, like…
Tony Parker (Spurs): We each have a Finals MVP award and Curry doesn’t?
Kawhi Leonard (Spurs): Exactly.
Stephen Curry (Warriors): SHUT UP!
Russell Westbrook (Thunder): DID SOMEONE SAY LEADING THE LEAGUE IN TRIPLE DOUBLES?!
Stephen Curry (Warriors): Hey Westbrook:
Note: As it is now the offseason and there’s not as much for the point guards to discuss, they will only be meeting to chat once every two weeks, as opposed to once every week. They apologize for any inconvenience.